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[wifined]

when u meet a new friend and you have no memories to talk about

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[altonzm]

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[thirdtimecharmed]

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

[svynakee]

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

[orriculum]

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

[digitalfare]

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

[jamesandlilys]

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

[pajarosdelamancha]

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

[narwhal-noir]

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

[moldychesee]

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

[dixon-arrows]

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

[beckyhop]

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

[memesandshipsgalore]

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

[onceuponamirror]

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

[jumpingjacktrash]

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

[piedude]

Irish recipes:

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[notchicken]

Kids are interesting. I’m babysitting a 9 year old boy right now who’s homework is to write a fictional story and he wrote about how in millions of years the sun will expand killing everything and one man fell asleep at the beach and missed all the official announcements about the world ending but he managed to be the only survivor of the solar flares because he applied SPF 100 sunscreen.

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[chub-bolo]

im a snail and god is salting me

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[frigerator]

• IF U THINK SOMEONE UGLY
• U DON’T TELL THEM

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[wlwkara]

shout out to phones for pausing music when u unplug headphones bc im really not out here to blast waterloo by abba to a train full of people

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[winewoodtip]

Capricorns both start and end every year. take a fuckin sip of that.

[1994-2016]

and yet no one cares and or notices

[aryazombie]

I’m a capricorn and even I don’t care

[dorkycancerian]

I’m yelling internally tbh

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[cuteboykissingbooth]

insanity

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[fellowstarkid]

Of course we all appreciate Jennifer Lawrence for giving the finger

but now can we appreciate Jennifer Lawrence AFTER she gave the finger 

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[charlesoberonn]

“How did you get so good at art?”

“I picked up a pencil/tablet/brush”